All Confederate Civil War Monuments to be Replaced with Union Monuments in Southern Cities: Report

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Washington, D.C. (TheSwoggle) – Reports out of Washington D.C. indicate that Democrats in the federal government are drafting plans to replace all remaining Confederate Civil War monuments in Southern cities with statues celebrating the Union.

“There’s simply no reason to keep these monuments of hate out in the public square anymore,” A Democratic National Committee member explained.  “Imagine being an African-American slave descendant living in one of these Southern cities and having to see the face of your family’s oppressors staring down at you every single day.  By tearing down these granite celebrations to our country’s shameful past and replacing them with statues of the actual winners of the Civil War, we will begin to heal as a nation.  When the monuments are swapped out, it will in fact be the white descendants of slave owners who will be intimidated by these permanent reminders of the failure of their beloved Confederacy.”

Some welcome the change.  “I think it’s great,” Atlanta resident Adriana Rowland said.  “These statues are a disgusting reminder of our hateful past.  It’s in your face every day.  It’s beyond time that these painful and hurtful monuments are turned to dust.  Replacing them with Union heroes is a nice touch as well.”

“It’s a slap in the face to the memory of all of the proud Southern boys who fought and died for the Confederacy during the ‘War of Northern Aggression’, Jacksonville resident Charles Conner declared.  “To replace these historical monuments of Southern pride and heritage with Yankees from the North is disgusting.”

Dozens of Confederate statues and monuments have been removed in the United States over the past several years:  In Durham, North Carolina, protesters pulled down a statue of a Confederate soldier in front of the Durham County Courthouse in Durham, N.C., on Aug. 14.  The statue, which had stood since 1924, was protected by a special law.  On Aug. 19, Duke University removed a Robert E. Lee statue from Duke Chapel.  In Gainesville, Florida, a local chapter of the United Daughters of the Confederacy paid for the Aug. 14 removal of a monument to Confederate soldiers that stood in front of Alachua County Administration Building in downtown Gainesville for over 113 years.  The monument, known locally as “Old Joe,” was moved to a private cemetery outside the city.  The city of New Orleans removed four monuments dedicated to the Confederacy and opponents of Reconstruction in April.  City workers who took them down wore flak jackets, helmets and masks and were guarded by police because of concerns about their safety.  Most infamously, violence erupted at a far-right protest against the proposed removal of a statue of Robert E. Lee from Emancipation Park in Charlottesville, Va.  Thirty-four people were injured in clashes and one person was killed when a Nazi sympathizer plowed his car into a crowd of counter-protesters, the authorities said.

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