SHAKER HEIGHTS, OH— Reporter, attorney, author and former television host Gerald Michael Rivera, most commonly known as “Geraldo Rivera,” is reportedly in talks to host Soul Search, a new reality series, according to sources who insist on complete and total anonymity.
Soul Search is something I’ve never, ever done before in my entire life,” said Rivera, during a ZOOM press conference attended by invitees.
“I’ll be traveling across the county, to get back into America’s faces, up close and personal,” Rivera explained.
“With all this time spent caged at home, many people have done a lot of cleaning, organizing, cooking, laundering, ordering for take out, and using contactless, curbside delivery. And soul searching. I want to hear their stories while they’re hot and fresh. I want to taste their meals, not just deliver them, and then search for more – as many as three a day with any luck – as I get back into America’s faces, up close and personal.”
“You haven’t heard from these people who’s faces I’m going to meet,” said Rivera. “What are they supposed to do? Remain silent? Hide behind a mask? Vote for Joe Biden? I don’t think that’s the direction we should take, as I meet people across the county and get back into America’s faces, up close and personal.”
“I’m funding the whole thing myself,” said a spry Rivera. “It’s just me, my camera, my car, and the most comfortable goddam pillow I’ve ever used in my entire life, Mike Lindell’s MyPillow.”
“There’s this hunger deep inside me,” Rivera said.