New Social Media App “Prattler” Rewards The Poorly Educated

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Alexander Crouton-Skitch
Alexander Crouton-Skitch
Just because times have changed, doesn't mean I have to.

New social media app Prattler continues to gain so-called “poorly educated” followers at a record-breaking rate, and unlike behemoth Twitter, which limits entire posts to 280 characters, Prattler instead limits word character counts to a maximum of four letters.

Prattler founder Prim Cruet explains it this way:

“Free talk here any time!  Take my guns away?  Nope damn libs!  Lock her up!  Rudy sane, talk best law true.  Four more year!”

The need for an alternative pratform was prompted in part by Twitter’s recent policy of tagging posts as misleading, containing manipulated media, and glorifying violence.

Prattler’s per prat promo points promise profitable perks, with Prattlers earning points per post, or rather, per prat, which can be redeemed at local convenience stores and survival food companies.

Prats will not be subject to flaggings, warnings, censorship, or spellcheck.

“Mask bad!  Dem hoax!” said Cruet, during a recent interview, adding, “Find no fake news here!  I dare you!  Zip Zero!  Not a word!  Hear News!  Talk Loud!”

Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, in the first of what will undoubtedly be a series of prats aimed at her new, widening base, prattled:

“Four type good!  More type bad!  Four type good!  More type bad!” chanted Cruet.

Plans for Prattler to go public are reportedly in the pipeline.

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Eh Pk
Eh Pk
3 months ago

Two thumb prats up!

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