Washington, D.C. (TheSwoggle) – Top Democratic lawmakers are mulling the idea of abolishing federal taxes for Muslim citizens, according to sources. If enacted, the abolishment would take effect January 1st, 2021.
“Sharia law dictates that personal property, in this case, money, is protected by Islam. Taxation of that personal property is considered to be an infringement,” a top Democratic lawmaker explains. “We are a country of tolerance and acceptance and do not wish to infringe on our Muslim brothers’ rights or property. Abolishing all federal income, corporate, and unemployment taxes on all Muslim citizens, is a step in the right direction. As-salamu alaikum.”
Yair Cook, a Muslim tax scholar, breaks down the specifics of taxes as it refers to Sharia law. “The only charge that Muslims are obliged to pay under Islam is ‘Zakat Mal’. Simply translated, it means “charity”. Federal taxes, as imposed by the U.S. government, are taken by force with threat of imprisonment and is illegal under Sharia. Zakat Mal is a charity where Muslims donate to specific causes voluntarily. There are other taxes that exist in Islam, but they do not apply to Muslims living in non-Islamic countries like the United States, such as Al Jizya, a tribute, and Al Kharaj, a type of land tax. Other government charges within Sharia law apply only to non-believers, such as a type of income tax called ‘jizya’.”
“It is not fair to offend our Islamic brothers by blatantly violating their deeply-held traditions and beliefs,” the top Democrat lawmaker continued. “When creating laws at the federal level, we should be respectful and empathetic to those who believe differently than us. I’m looking forward to the day where I can say that we, as a federal body, are not ‘treading’ on Islamic Sharia law.”
News of the potential rule change has Americans divided. “I can’t believe it,” Madison, Wisconsin car wash attendant Trenton Vaughan exclaimed. “These people move to our country and expect us to bend over backwards for them! I wouldn’t move to their land and demand that they respect my religion! I agree that taxation is theft, but why are they exempt? This is more proof that the clueless Dems hate America and love Islam!”
Tucson, Arizona bus driver, Kaia Barron offered a differing opinion. “I think it’s great. We don’t tax churches in this country because of the separation between church and state. The federal government has no place in religion.”
“Though federal taxes will be abolished for Muslim citizens,” the top Democratic lawmaker continued, “this doesn’t apply to taxes administered at the state level. It is up to each individual state to make those decisions. We’re not draconian over here.”