Will Face Mask Friday Be The New Taco Tuesday?

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Alexander Crouton-Skitch
Alexander Crouton-Skitch
Just because times have changed, doesn't mean I have to.

Ricky Reed was in a jam.  He owns a taco truck called Ricky’s Sticky Tacos, in one of those purple states where some people think one way, while others think the wrong way.  But his tacos are something everyone agrees on – they’re delicious!

There’s just one problem.  Some people who think one way hate the idea of wearing face masks while waiting in line, and other people who think another way hate the idea of not wearing face masks while waiting in line.

“At least my customers can all come together and agree on hating one idea,” said Reed. “It’s a start, but it’s still a sticky situation.”

“There’s been some pushing and shoving,” said Reed, “and that’s something I did see before, but that was about people jumping the line to get to my tacos, not about wearing masks.”

The devotion Reed’s patrons express sometimes verges on the fanatical.

“Some folks camp out here at night so they can be first in line when I open, but I never thought I’d see pushing and shoving about things you can’t eat, like face masks and the virus.”

“I mean, can’t we all just get along?” asked Reed, as he repeatedly slammed his fist into a slab of beef.

“This is the best way to tenderize, by the way,” said Reed. “It has to know who’s in charge.”

When Reed’s business began suffering, he decided to take action.

“I made Fridays here Face Mask Fridays for my customers who think they have a right to feel safe,” said Reed.

“It’s not easy eating a taco with a face mask, but I have to think about my bottom line and make sure everyone here feels welcome, even if they’re dead wrong.”

So far, business has remained steady, although Reed has noticed a group of Face Mask Friday counter protesters.

“It’s almost like a cult, but it’s a free country, right?

Last week, one man used a dirty stick for a flagpole, and a face mask for the flag. He dragged it on the ground and did a little dance to taunt the face maskers. It got really tense when he started to blow his nose on the flag, but things settled down after I gave every one of those very fine people on both sides free tacos. I felt like a peacemaker. I mean, what the heck? It’s just one day a week anyway.”

Ricky Reed plans on buying a fleet of food trucks, which he feels can help bridge gaps.

“Everyone sitting down together at a table, talking, eating, yelling, and enjoying my food,” says Reed, “or side by side on a crowded park bench. I’d love that to spread far and wide throughout the whole country one state at a time. That’s my American dream!”

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